


Clint Francis Barton

by CaptainnAustralia



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-06
Updated: 2011-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-26 23:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainnAustralia/pseuds/CaptainnAustralia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone makes fun of Clint because his middle name is Francis. But by everyone, I mean Tony and others lucky enough to be around when it happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clint Francis Barton

Tony was looking at him weird.

Not in the “I’ve-been-up-for-72-hours-and-this-is-my-18th-cup-of-coffee-in-under-an-hour-because-I’m-fucking-Tony-Stark-and-that’s-possible-for-me-oh-you’re-in-my-line-of-vision-I-thought-you-were-scematics” kind of way.

In the “I-know-shit-you-wanna-know” kind of way. He was smirking at Clint around what was quite possibly his 18th cup of coffee – Clint had no idea – in a way that made Clint’s skin crawl. He tired not pay any attention to him, going about his morning as regularly as he could a mentally cataloguing everything he’d done, in a room that may or may not hold a camera, that might earn him that look.

“What?” He asked finally, eyeing Tony suspiciously when he let out a small snicker, now from behind his newspaper.

“Oh, nothing. Just an old friend of my fathers passed away. She was a strange old bat, couldn’t lift so much as a cushion towards the end.”

“Gee, you’re such a nice person for laughing at that.” Clint shot irritably. That look was really getting to him. Tony stayed silent while some of the others filed into the room, stumbling and looking bleary eyed for coffee and food. Well, except for Steve, because apparently he was abso-fucking-lutely perfect in every way and form, bounding into the room with a cheerful ‘Morning everyone!’ and then began to whistle something too old for their memories, which was just  _peachy_.

It wasn’t until everyone was seated around the table, Clint squished unhappily next to Thor and happily next to Bruce, that Tony spoke again.

“So, one of my dad’s friends passed away yesterday. Nice old lady.” Tony began. Clint made an effort to ignore him, swiping Bruce’s juice because he couldn’t reach his own with Thor’s arm in the way and winking when Bruce tried to look indignant at the action.

Sympathies for Tony’s loss filed from around the table.

“What was her name? Maybe I knew her.”

“ _Francis.”_  Clint froze, arm outstretched towards Thor’s plate in a half-hearted attempt to steal a pop tart.

Oh.

This explained  _everything_.

“I don’t think I knew a Francis… what was her last name?”

Oh god Steve, just shut up!

Clint attempted to wriggle out of his chair, but Thor had seen his attempts at thievery and was currently holding him in his seat in a kind of perverse punishment.

“Let me go Blondie!” Clint hissed – this drew no attention away from Tony, as Thor found a regular way to disrupt breakfast.

“Oh Francis  _Barton._ ” Everyone on the table turned to look at him and he felt his face heating instantly.

“Barton? Clint, do you have a relative named Francis?”

He was going to KILL Tony.

“No. No I don’t. Barton’s not uncommon though.” Clint said quickly, resuming his efforts to escape.

“Really? Cuz I have your  _birth certificate,_ ” – and how in all of the almighty fucks did he get THAT, even CLINT didn’t have a copy of that “and it says right here. Clint FRANCIS Barton.”

Tony was grinning like a mad man and Bruce choked on his drink, even Natasha’s lips quirking the smallest amount as the joke settled in.

Steve continued to look confused.

“Clint, your middle name is Francis?”

“I-uh, it’s not like I  _chose_  it – Thor, seriously, get off-”

“But Francis is a girl’s name.” Steve continued in his confused voice.

“Yes Steve. Francis is a girl’s name. An old woman’s name if you wanted to get fancy with it.” Tony said slyly, holding back a snicker. Bruce was staring very hard at his plate, his lips pressed into a thin line in his effort not to laugh.

“I do not understand. Why does such a brave warrior bare the name of a feeble womanly elder?” Thor boomed, releasing Clint so that he could look at him in curiosity. That was too much for Bruce, who burst into open laughter, doubling over in his chair. The sound set Tony off and even Steve joined, although Clint was almost sure he didn’t get the joke. Natasha  _smiled_  which was almost as good as her pointing and snickering.

He finally managed to escape his chair, shoving it backwards and storming from the room.

“Careful you don’t break a something, Francis!” Tony called after him.

He was going to KILL Tony.

****************** 

Later that night Tony went into his lap to find everything in exactly the place it had been where he left it – only upside down and on the roof. His suit – normally tucked in the corner – was the only thing on the floor, only now it was in the middle of the room.

Tony approached with caution and found that the entire interior of the suit was COVERED in tiny, pointy magnets. A post-it note was slapped cheerfully over where his arc reactor would go.

“’Fraid I might have broken  _something_  – C.F.B”


End file.
